Wrestling

[opera142]

The short of it: I'm pitching a hissy fit because wrestling is not booked exactly how I like it.

The long of it: I'm a numbers nerd and a pessimist. This has kept me a wrestling fan.

Long ago, I read a book on plotting called "Theme and Strategy"*. In it, the author discusses the 36 major plots of fiction. 34, really. He claimed that two --supplication to a god, and supplication to a person of power-- are out of favor with modern audiences. That idea always stuck with me because wrestling uses "supplication to a person of power" all the time. Everyone whines to the GM or the McMahons. Combine wrestling's use of a too simple plot with its need to play to the nosebleed section, and it gets a pass or two for crappy storylines.

Now throw in some math. If there are roughly 300 active characters (on-air characters of WWE and TNA and the bigger name folks at RoH), then there are not enough plots to go around. Even if it take two (or more) to tango-feud. Add in variables such as a show's length, injuries, position on the card, whether or not some stupid talk show segment is going to hog up time, backstage heat and other dirt sheet terms, etc, etc, etc, and it's a wonder any of my precious ever make it onto TV.

Then there are variables that exist only in my brain. Not only does a precious have to be one of the lucky ones to get a plot, but he or she has to get a plot I like. Underdog, yes. Giving All For Love, probably not. And, the precious has to be on the right moral side of the plot. I'm all for Carlito or Jamie or M. Hardy being the underdog. Taker, I want him over-dogging. I have no use for a face Undertaker.

So I get that chances are that a storyline will miss more often than hit with me. ITS BEEN ALL MISSES LATELY and I'm going to whine about it. Starting with Christian and the MainEvent Mafia.

Omg guys, I was wigglepants waiting on TNA last week. Christian (a precious) was going to have to join the MEM because he lost his match against Booker T. OMG GUYS. Hero doing the right thing (keeping his word, not joining the MEM) even though he doesn't want to Wigglepants Ground Zero. Then he was given a suit to wear. HOW OFTEN DO I PERV OUT OVER FORCED DRESSING/COSTUME SCENARIOS. OMG GUYS MY WIGGLEPANTS HAD WIGGLEPANTS. But, what happens. Christian tosses the clothes in the trash. Dead stop to the wigglepants.

Logically, I know it was supposed to show him as not taking shit/standing up for himeself. Whatever. It was the equivalent of the Fairy Godmother showing up on page 1 of Cinderella, instead of the second act. I *know* I like the grinding upon of good guys far more than the average viewer; I'd be happy with months and months of Christian getting kicked around. I like the grind as much as the pay-off. There was no grind, though. None. How can there being any pay-off pudding if the Hero hasn't had to choke on some grind-meat?

Stupid booking ruining a good thing.


Additional minor annoyances that don't have much to do with plotting: I did not know Brie Bella was one half of a set of twins. Moe mocked me for this. I think it's dumb the other one is named Nikkie. Hello, one is Brie and one is Bella. AM I RITE.


M. Hardy got super fat. He has round boobies. And that moonsault was more like a deadweightsault. This feud with Regal better be AWESOME and involved Regal not wearing a bathing suit from Sears.




* Yeah, yeah. We all know there are a million different books on this subject each having its own plot total. I like "Theme and Strategy" and this is my post, for the sake of this argument it's 36 plots.

Comments

[wishtheworst.livejournal.com]

I'm bothered by how few of the TNA fans (in the live audience, I mean) seem to understand how the Main Event Mafia storyline is supposed to work. YOU DO NOT CHEER FOR THE OLD GUYS. I mean, I guess you can, but that seems to me to be a fundamental misunderstanding of the classic young and deserving characters struggling to overcome the established and unjust order. Jeeze guys. Jeeze.

And I too was disappointed by Christian's apparent departure. I wanted him to be noble in spite of himself, or only because it was convenient, and shallowly I wanted to see him try to work his DEB Plus apparel metro-ness in a suit.

Matt is so bloated that I'm tempted to mail him some Midol. There were those few halcyon days of looking decent again, then all of sudden it was like he swore off anything that couldn't be eaten from a greasy wrapper and his hairline receded four inches.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

fundamental misunderstanding of the classic young and deserving characters struggling to overcome the established and unjust order

Hahahaha, wrestling has a fundamental misunderstanding of how that storyline works. :D

[wishtheworst.livejournal.com]

This is so so true. =/

[redfiona99.livejournal.com]

>>I'm bothered by how few of the TNA fans (in the live audience, I mean) seem to understand how the Main Event Mafia storyline is supposed to work. YOU DO NOT CHEER FOR THE OLD GUYS. I mean, I guess you can, but that seems to me to be a fundamental misunderstanding of the classic young and deserving characters struggling to overcome the established and unjust order. Jeeze guys. Jeeze.<<

I don't know, sure it's the company's job to make sure people have a reason for cheering for the young end of this equation.

[opera142.livejournal.com]

Clearly the French paradox isn't working for our Matthew.