(no subject)

[opera142]

Smackdown began with Copacabana blaring, the audience going nuts and Colt disco-ing his way to the ring... oh wait, it didn't. It opened with Steph and WtW's OTP. Black and white footage means it's memories, sepia tones mean it's bad memories. If U like it, plz watch their other vids on Channel JefffHHH.

When they finally get done being all OTPCHATFICLOL!! Maryse, my love, has to wrestle Michelle McCool. Did you know "McCool" is gaelic for "Batista"? Which means that Twig loves her and everyone else has to job.

Backstage, Big Show and Vickie Guerrero sat around in bad outfits. Eve showed up, asked if Taker was around, but don't say anything to Michelle about her asking, and speaking of Michelle, can any girl wrestle now? Eve would love a shot at that belt. It looks like the artwork of that chick who painted with her crotch and Eve loves abstract art. Wasn't it such a shame that the artspot Golgotha was razed to make space for a Gap?

Vickie doesn't think it was shame. She prefers getting her artwork at Hanny's. Minimalism has been bastardized, and the bold colors featured in Hanny's shop are statement against the white male his notions of art, proper places and reality vs. perception. Hanny's work inspired she and Big Show to performance art and the punking out of Taker. Recap footage played while Vickie and Show discussed how each time an artwork is viewed it's different because the time and human experience have changed in the viewer.


Festus and Jesse are still movers, yet no explanation is given. I'm glad those hillbillies found gainful employment, but I hope it doesn't mean an end to their dreams of moving to the big city and becoming dancers and getting in a Pink video.

Anyway, they lured Ryan Braddock to the ring with promises of 50 dollars and X for a little male on male "wrestling". I hope Ryan let some friends know where he was going, and maybe an address because instead of 50 bucks and X, it turned out to be somas and bondage.

I don't know what my problem is here. Creepy dudes bondaging pretty boys for pure spite and raging inappropriate sexuality is normally Opera-approved. I guess it's the lack of info. I can *pretend* is naughty funtime backstage, but what if it's really Saw-esque escapades filmed and posted on the special youtube that the US government doesn't know about that's full of terrifying things and Thai pre-teens. Reassure me it's just naughty funtime!

Backstage, Vickie and Show talk shit about Taker. Then rewatch the Unforgiven punch sequence and we have to too.

Shelton Benjamin's prettiness < my desire to fastfoward over Ron the Truthiness. Helms appeared in a floating oval on the top right of the screen. "Looks like the price of gold has gone down." Wow. Not even back yet, and he's spilling blowjob secrets. Somebody isn't going to get any action when he returns.

Jeff Hardy got the mic before his match. His brother, Matt, the champion, didn't on Tuesday, but I'm not bitter or anything. OTPCHATFICLOL!! Anyway, it was good writing, and Jeff channeled Mike Buffer with his "charismatic enigma" announcement. As Moe proclaimed, "That's how you sell a shitty gimmick!"

The Brian Kendrick logged on to AIM and wanted to RPG with Jeff. WtW and Steph smacked that mun down. Wow. Aren't you THE Brian Kendrick who lost THE number one contendership in THE fatal four-way? The Brian Kendrick claims his mom is bitching at him to set the table, so he has to log off. Just 'cause they're MEAN WTW and Steph write a match fic where Jeff beats Brian with a first-day-of-wrestling-school backslide. OTPCHATFICLOL!!


Afterwards, Jeff walked up the ramp backwards. Faces never survive that. Kozlov thrashed poor Jeffy so hard it will take at least 7 H/C OTPCHATFICLOL!!s to make him all better.

Backstage, Show told Vickie that Taker was looking for a percentage of their performance art. Taker, apparently wearing a camera on his hat, show up. He apologized to Vickie and looked longingly at her feet. Nine West pumps give him boners. Turns out, that the foot fetishist was Chavo in Taker drag. And let me tell you, Chavo in Taker drag is the funniest thing EVER.

As I ff'd over the third playing of "the footage", Moe suggested that one of these times it would be different and Taker would post his own vid about butthurt and Twilight.

Carlito's cabana is back. This better not be the reason Colt was morph into Scotty. Also Carlito wasn't wearing drawstring pants and sandals. Nothing enrages me more. The Edgeheads arrived on scene and everyone pretended they didn't know who anyone was. Primo got emotional when he found out the Edgeheads were La Famila. Carlito decided to take advantage of Festus and Jesse's new shitty gimmick, and he called them out to clean up his set. All turned to chaos. No bondage, just Festus chasing the Edgeheads with a fake palm tree.


The Great Betrayal. Colt/Scott spoke gibberish to a puppet made from a brown paper lunchbag. Then he jobbed to Khali. Will there ever be a rainbow?

Chavo booted out the Edgeheads and Bam so he and his bottle of the special lotion could watch the Taker footage. Post footage, Castiel tried to speak with Chavo. Then Taker showed up, with a camera on his hat, and choked Chavo. *cough*Christo*cough* See if he flinches!

Triple H fought MVP for Jeff's honor. OTPCHATFICLOL!! And he hurt his arm. OH NOES. How much healing sex is needed for a worked shoulder? Answer: a lot less than is needed for recovery from a Koslov headbutt. That will be the last time Jeff and Hunter take all the jello salad from catering.

Comments

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Which means that Twig loves her

-_-

So what actually is happening with Colt anyway? I heard he debut as Scott something?

[opera142.livejournal.com]

He's super generic jobber now. Scotty Goldman. A black singlet. Is there a more unattractive piece of wrestling gear? Even Angle and Van Dam struggled to make the thing sexy.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

-_____________________________________________________-

He deserves better than the Chris Harris treatment.

[opera142.livejournal.com]

Ha! They probably gave him Chris' singlet.

[angstbunny.livejournal.com]

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[one-more-cherry.livejournal.com]

and Taker would post his own vid about butthurt and Twilight.

Taker thinks Reneesmee is the best name for a child ever *wise nod*. ((Thanks for the giggle, I needed that tonight))