Meme-- Jeff
Jun. 21st, 2008 10:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
opera142Name a character from one of my fandoms and I'll give you:
(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon
(b) a reason he/she sucks
(c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes
(d) five things that never happened to that character and/or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why
three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon
1. Wishes Matt would Shut. The. Fuck. Up. For once. Jesus.
2. Into tantric sex with old dudes. Often ends unsatisifyingly when the geezer dozes off during an hour long position or by Batista punching his face in for hitting on Flair. Until the hook-up with Vince, that is. The genetic jackhammer can go.
3. Bored, bored, bored by the old Omega group. Especially by the ones like Otto and Cham who haven't made it big. And Matt who keeps inviting them around so he can be the big, famous guy in the room, instead of the mid-carder getting passed by new guys left and right. He's considered making a sockpuppet account at 411--"VincePWNSu"-- that primarily bashes Omega guys and praises whatever hoss is currently getting a mega push. He knows he'll never stick with it though.
a reason he/she sucks
Emoetry.
a reason he/she is awesomecakes
His sections in the Hardy's book made me do a secret 180 on him. While Matt mostly bragged, Jeff revealed some hurts and vulnerability. That story about him putting sand in the gas tank of his dad's new girlfriend made me feel so. damn. bad. He seems like a geniunely kind person. He smiles at people. He engages the audience in his matches. He's a sweetie to his batshit fan brigade. Matt often comes off as condescending or holier than thou to his fans or just plain mean; Jeff doesn't.
five things that never happened to that character
1. Got that pet monkey he begged Santa for. To make matters worse, Matt got the bike requested in the very same letter. Why would Santa jerk him around like that?
2. Sleeping with someone for a belt/push. Vince is a fuck buddy, he'll stick by for the long run, and hey, if Vince wants to talk work afterward, that's cool. But he'd lose respect for anyone who'd base/risk his company's plans on a piece of ass.
3. Dinner at El Bulli. 4 tours of Spain, and Vince has yet to finangle a reservation. Jeff would bitch more--- Adria's oyster shot glass with tempura raisin wine deserves bitching-- but reminding Vince that there's something he can't get just leads to bad moods and bad sex. Plus it would drive the boys batty to know Vince dropped 700 bucks on a meal with him.
4. The Belt.
5. Got over Scott Hall walking out on him the next morning, saying "Welcome to the business, kid."
five people that character never fell in love with and why
1. Shannon Moore. Possibly retarded.
2. Undertaker. Not limber, and there's a difference between old and haggard.
3. William Regal. Uncut.
4. Rob Van Dam. Patchouli makes him gag.
5. Abyss. Pity fuck.
(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon
(b) a reason he/she sucks
(c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes
(d) five things that never happened to that character and/or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why
three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon
1. Wishes Matt would Shut. The. Fuck. Up. For once. Jesus.
2. Into tantric sex with old dudes. Often ends unsatisifyingly when the geezer dozes off during an hour long position or by Batista punching his face in for hitting on Flair. Until the hook-up with Vince, that is. The genetic jackhammer can go.
3. Bored, bored, bored by the old Omega group. Especially by the ones like Otto and Cham who haven't made it big. And Matt who keeps inviting them around so he can be the big, famous guy in the room, instead of the mid-carder getting passed by new guys left and right. He's considered making a sockpuppet account at 411--"VincePWNSu"-- that primarily bashes Omega guys and praises whatever hoss is currently getting a mega push. He knows he'll never stick with it though.
a reason he/she sucks
Emoetry.
a reason he/she is awesomecakes
His sections in the Hardy's book made me do a secret 180 on him. While Matt mostly bragged, Jeff revealed some hurts and vulnerability. That story about him putting sand in the gas tank of his dad's new girlfriend made me feel so. damn. bad. He seems like a geniunely kind person. He smiles at people. He engages the audience in his matches. He's a sweetie to his batshit fan brigade. Matt often comes off as condescending or holier than thou to his fans or just plain mean; Jeff doesn't.
five things that never happened to that character
1. Got that pet monkey he begged Santa for. To make matters worse, Matt got the bike requested in the very same letter. Why would Santa jerk him around like that?
2. Sleeping with someone for a belt/push. Vince is a fuck buddy, he'll stick by for the long run, and hey, if Vince wants to talk work afterward, that's cool. But he'd lose respect for anyone who'd base/risk his company's plans on a piece of ass.
3. Dinner at El Bulli. 4 tours of Spain, and Vince has yet to finangle a reservation. Jeff would bitch more--- Adria's oyster shot glass with tempura raisin wine deserves bitching-- but reminding Vince that there's something he can't get just leads to bad moods and bad sex. Plus it would drive the boys batty to know Vince dropped 700 bucks on a meal with him.
4. The Belt.
5. Got over Scott Hall walking out on him the next morning, saying "Welcome to the business, kid."
five people that character never fell in love with and why
1. Shannon Moore. Possibly retarded.
2. Undertaker. Not limber, and there's a difference between old and haggard.
3. William Regal. Uncut.
4. Rob Van Dam. Patchouli makes him gag.
5. Abyss. Pity fuck.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-21 04:34 pm (UTC)my.
God.
I now have french toast all over my computer desk, thankyouverymuch.
This was pure awesomeness.
*delighted*
Date: 2008-06-21 09:43 pm (UTC)WHAT?
4. The Belt.
LOL OUCH
3. William Regal. Uncut.
That wouldn't have stopped me, tbh.
Re: *delighted*
Date: 2008-06-28 03:36 am (UTC)Jeff and the gas tank. His dad had a girlfriend over, and young Jeff and a friend put sand in her gas tank. Pops Hardy was not pleased and Jeff was grounded. The actual events weren't terrible, I just felt bad because he was a little boy missing his momma, and it's a story he remembers to this day. Poor thing.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-21 10:50 pm (UTC)5. Got over Scott Hall walking out on him the next morning, saying "Welcome to the business, kid."
I shouldn't be charmed but I AM.
1. Shannon Moore. Possibly retarded.
2. Undertaker. Not limber, and there's a difference between old and haggard.
3. William Regal. Uncut.
4. Rob Van Dam. Patchouli makes him gag.
5. Abyss. Pity fuck.
Beautiful. Except #3, because I want to believe that everyone ever wants to do or has done William Regal.