Maybe Meta, Probably Porn and Totally TMI

[opera142]

In the opening seconds of an Youtube post-Superbowl video of Peyton congratulating Eli, the Manning boys kinda-sorta Eskimo kiss. It makes for the special kind of wigglepants. The one where the wiggle hits your brain and pants at the same time. Two hot guys almost kissing gets my pants, all the made-up-by-me drama, younger brother finally on equal footing with his superstar older brother yet still not because he'll always be the younger, shyer brother ahhhhhhhhhh gets my brain.

Lamely, though, with the wiggle I felt relief. It's hard to out-vanilla Eskimo kisses. Yet, there I was wigglepanting just as much as when Kane was in his kidnap and torment cruisers phase. As much as I say vanilla doesn't interest me fictionally (and mean it), there's a part of me that wishes vanilla romance would intrigue me. Just because there's so much more of it around, and no one accuses you of having hang-ups or weird fetishes for liking it.

I have trouble finding porn/erotica/smut that works for me. Mainly because I'm picky, and a lot of my turn-ons ride shotgun with my squicks. Plus, I'm too much of a girl to ignore the lack of emotional involvement in made-for-typical-dude porn, and I'm too much of a joyless bitch to wade though the waist-deep emotional slop of the by-chicks-for-chicks stuff like fanfic.

Too much For-Dudes fetish fiction comes off as dehumanzing to me. Like the objects: uniforms, shoes, rubberwear, gags, whatever are more important than the people playing with them. There are paragraphs upon paragraphs detailing, say, a leather gag, and I don't care necessarily about the gag, I care about the act of gagging another, and how those two characters are going to handle the imbalance of power. But, in For-Chicks stuff, it's too much in the other direction. There are 985425 lines of dialogue reassuring the reader (and probably the writer) that TRUST and CONCERN and LOVE are overabundant in the scene, and there is NO imbalance of power because LOVE equalizes everything. I want emotions, yes. But not always trust or love and heart-shaped thought balloons.

Not always violence and brutality, either. What I said above about my turn-ons riding shotgun with my squicks makes navigating the fetish world scary. Like for a while, I was into ballerina stuff. Elegant and refined. Everything white-trash me isn't. It was oh-so tasty to read about pretty, elegant girls doing nasty, nasty things. Until the stories turned from girls in semi-constricting clothing, and became girls getting their toes crushed and encased forever in contraptions. ICK QUIT IT YOURE DOING IT WRONG ROONED NOW. GEEZ.

So I'm unsure if I'm looking for something completely different than the typical enjoyer of fetish. Fetish seems to be such an end-product driven genre especially when it appears in fanfic. The readers and writers of fanfic that features fetish don't seem to really care for the fetish portion at all. Not all fetish fics (and readers) obviously, but the majority come off to me like the fetish was picked from a hat rather than there being any draw in the idea itself. Sort of like how in For-Dude fetish pictures, a the chick wearing the uniform or rubber or chickenfeathers is trying her best to look sexy, but you can see in her eyes that's she's bewildered as to how anyone can find this arousing.

I guess I'm more about the process or symbolism or empathy. The story between the characters and the inner stories each has. Not the moment or scene as fanfic fixates on, but the all background and emotional history of the characters and what being gagged or swathed in rubber or dressed as the opposite gender willingly or unwillingly does to them.

In my own writing, bare feet pop up a lot. Often enough that my beta pointed it out, and I decided I should probably figure out what bare feet are either a)doing for me, or b)shorthand for.

Turns out on the doing it for me side, the answer was not much. Men's feet are some gnarly business. What's with those humongous toes and nails wide enough to show movies on? And the hair, sweet Lord, the hair. But, damn if barefeet don't remind me of two things: beach vacations and historical servants. Hey! I like vacations at the beach, and master/slave is one of my go-to kinks.

There's the symbolism. I hope, instead of just a fixation with feet. Eef. Or, at the very least, a failure to explain my shorthand (something I'm always guilty of in my writing, no matter the subject). Like, I feel immediate empathy with a barefooted servant, because eeesh, what did they have to step in that day? Is the ground cold? Imagine cleaning a barn or chopping wood with nothing protecting your feet. Would one lousy pair of shoes break a Master's budget? How much of a dick do you have to be to deny someone a basic necessity?

And on the other side, how ahhhhh is a beach vacation. Especially right now in the last tedious months of winter. The sun and sand and ocean and no work and all the time to spend with a loved one. In modern North America, bare feet don't happen at work or the supermarket or on errands. They happen on vacation and in the comfort of your own home.

I feel like I mix story and smut and fetish elements in ways that others don't desire to, and I worry that I attach importance to batshit things. Like maybe barefeet are the least of a servant's worries. It's just that surface-level kink doesn't interest me any more than random topless chick in Playboy. It's only the super-charged stuff, the stuff rife with underlying, overlying dynamics that grabs me. I haven't even begin to figure out why that is.

I'm just lamely happy that I can enjoy super-charged vanilla as much as kink.

Comments

I do love your porn ponderings

[wolfshift.livejournal.com]

In the opening seconds of an Youtube post-Superbowl video of Peyton congratulating Eli,

Ahem, link?

and a lot of my turn-ons ride shotgun with my squicks

Same here. Non-con is hot, and also seriously fucking creepy. I think there must be a set of tiny, subjective cues that swing it one way or the other.

I worry that I attach importance to batshit things.

Or maybe your kinks are your kinks, and to hell with how they compare to other people's kinks. Every writer and reader has batshit trivia that they fixate on; that's just part of having a past and memories and a normal functioning human psyche.

Me, I get annoyed when visual pornography cuts people off just above the ankles. I like feet (yes, guy feet). To some extent, I really don't give a lemur's fanny what the significance of that particular fetish is, though it might be interesting out of sheer curiousity and the entertainment value of over-analysis to figure it out some day. If, in written porn, feet are mentioned, or even footwear, my attention is immediately grabbed. Same goes for a fair number of other ridiculously insignificant things (eyebrows, for instance).

I find your analysis of the differences between porn for guys and porn for gals very interesting. Probably fairly accurate, if stereotypical. I, for instance, would much rather write or read that "he was gagged" and move on to the significance of that fact for the participants and the action rather than dwell on the origin of the leather used in the gag and the style of the stitching and how many links are in the chain that connects the ankle cuffs.

Re: I do love your porn ponderings

[opera142.livejournal.com]

link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aAdDZoJxXM It's pretty mumbly in the middle, so unless you're as enchanted with the way Eli beams at Peyton's praise as I am, the best parts are the first 4 seconds and the last few seconds when they do the awkward jock hug.

Some day we will over-analize feet!

Re: I do love your porn ponderings

[opera142.livejournal.com]

Also, LOL, these two sentences go along way in illustrating the power of perception.

Me: in my own writing, bare feet pop up a lot. Often enough that my beta pointed it out,

You: If, in written porn, feet are mentioned, or even footwear, my attention is immediately grabbed.

You over-notice what I over-write.

[topknot.livejournal.com]

If you are looking for some fascinating, informative, HOT HOT HOT, and thought-provoking reading, you could pick up a copy of The Leatherman's Handbook (http://www.amazon.com/Leathermans-Handbook-Silver-Jubilee/dp/1881684199/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203266391&sr=8-1) I'm about 2/3 of the way through it and it's easily one of the best things I ever bought. It plays on a great deal of my own favourite kinks: Master/slave, exertion of power, discipline, various fetishes, and most importantly, it's manly Men dominating other manly men. No "fluffy sweater" set here.

[yesdrizella.livejournal.com]

In modern North America, bare feet don't happen at work or the supermarket or on errands.

Unless you're Britney Spears.

I've never been able to understand the foot fetish, but I will say that I've warmed up to feet over the past few years. Not so much that I find them to be sexy body parts, but... I feel kinda sorry for them. It's not enough that you're on them all day (with apologies to the paralyzed), but they're also stuffed in shoes or heels or some other article of clothing that causes them to sweat, blister, and smell bad. Feet get a bad wrap, and it's not their fault. :(

[opera142.livejournal.com]

Unless you're Britney Spears.

See, even then there's the implication of ease. Britney can go barefoot into stores. You or I or AverageJoe would likely get kicked TFO. That's what I'm into, implications and symbolism.

Maybe it's actually a shoe fetish. OH NOES QUICKSAND!OPERA IS BERRYING MAHSELF DEEPER. Though, empty shoes doesn't do anything for me either and the usual sort of "fetish" shoes like black high heels don't interest me anymore than they do most people. I think it's wrapped up in my power interests. Shoes/barefeet are a very situation-specific thing. The more power you have, the more you able to wear to shoes that are appropiate to the situation or your needs.

Like with Britney, a person could successfully argue both sides. One, she's got mental health issues and therefore lacks the power to wear appropiate shoes in a shopping situation, or two) she's a wealthy celebrity in a culture that worships both so there she can wear whatever she finds comfortable to shop in, rules be damned.

[opera142.livejournal.com]

appropriate is hard to spell correctly!