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Randycation
Jun. 24th, 2010 07:11 pmI am officially re-naming my vacation "Randycation". I am slathered in body oil. I stare angerily at anyone who dares speak while my music is playing. I haven't had pants on since Tuesday night.
Ode to Randall Orton
Sep. 1st, 2009 05:57 pmOh young Randall, how I have dismissed you all these years. Bagshitter! Butterface!
You divine lithe creature, you've evolved into a luscious villain. *licks and licks* First, the stalking on your injured prey in various rings. Then, the slapping. Oh the slapping was glorious. Too soon you outgrew it. It no longer satisfied.
Surely as your body fat percentage slipped, so did your morals. Only kicking old dudes would do. Bully! Predator! You claim compulsion, yet you know compulsion is weak and easy storytelling. Too passive. Too forgivable.
Last night, *sigh* last night. Your villainous brilliance was not from RKO-ing an old man who had just helped you, it was from staring down his son afterward. Not only do you cause harm for sheer, delicious pettiness, you use your victims' words as your justification. You've discovered the delights of mental trauma.
You divine lithe creature, you've evolved into a luscious villain. *licks and licks* First, the stalking on your injured prey in various rings. Then, the slapping. Oh the slapping was glorious. Too soon you outgrew it. It no longer satisfied.
Surely as your body fat percentage slipped, so did your morals. Only kicking old dudes would do. Bully! Predator! You claim compulsion, yet you know compulsion is weak and easy storytelling. Too passive. Too forgivable.
Last night, *sigh* last night. Your villainous brilliance was not from RKO-ing an old man who had just helped you, it was from staring down his son afterward. Not only do you cause harm for sheer, delicious pettiness, you use your victims' words as your justification. You've discovered the delights of mental trauma.
If the set-up of tonight's ME --Randy vs. Cody with Special Guest Dusty and Special Ref John Cena-- doesn't turn into a big beatdown of Cena, I will be v. displeased. There should have been slapping, young Randall. Intolerant, unimpressed slapping.
ETA: Shine on you crazy ectomorph!
ETA: Shine on you crazy ectomorph!
