Saturday Night's alright for meming

[opera142]

1. M. Hardy
2. Christian
3. Carlito
4. Khosrow Davari
5. Tomko
6. Chris Jericho
7. Jimmy Wang Yang
8. Colt Cabana
9. C.M Punk
10. Kane



1. Khos, C.M and Kane are at an arcade. What game do they choose to play, and who wins? Skee ball. They either use the tickets to buy huge plastic E&Ceque sunglasses, or they give them to a little trailer trash kid in a Stone Cold t-shirt.

2. Make up an e-mail address for Chris Jericho. canadiangoose@gmail.com

3. If Colt Cabana had an iPod or some kind of music player, what kinds of songs would you find in it? Spanky and London pranked him by replacing his playlist with Avril Lavigne songs.

4. What would you do if C.M Punk suddenly paid you a visit? Wish the bathroom was cleaner, finally unload those PepsiMaxes that have been in our fridge for months.

5. Do you think Chris Jericho and Khos Davari are made for each other? Fuck buddies occasionally. Jericho enjoys a bulldog top every now and then. But, when it comes down to love, Jericho needs someone who can love crappy hair metal, and Khos stamps that shit with a capital NO.

6. M. Hardy challenges Carlito to a no-holds-barred duel. Who will win and how? M. Hardy because Carlito don't fight unless he's getting paid.

7. Jimmy Wang Yang, Christian and M. Hardy order a pizza. What toppings does each one request, and what do the others think of the choices? Christian is never happy with anything, M. Hardy just cares about the beer, and Jimmy can't believe he's stuck listening to not one, but both of them.

8. What subject would M.Hardy teach if s/he were a teacher/professor? Would s/he be good at it? He'd be a life coach huckster like Anthony Robbins.

9. Tomko and Kane go on their first date. Where would they go, and what would they do? They'd watch the Sox at Fenway, drink beer out of plastic cups, eat hot dogs and peanuts, then later on make out in Kane's Escalade. The night would end with a long fuck in Tomko's apartment. The next morning they'd go to a coffee house and share the Sunday paper.

10. Colt sings karaoke and dedicates a song to Jimmy. What song would s/he dedicate and why? Mr. Roboto because that song is balls-awesome.

11. How would Colt court Chris Jericho? Court Jericho? First it would involve inventing a time machine then traveling back to the 1800's when "court" was last used as a dating style. They might court but more likely they'd get caught up in some harebrained scheme to make money by buying stock or betting on sports teams. Ultimately, they'd fail because the only money they had on them was a couple of loonies, and even back then American banks DON'T EXCHANGE FOREIGN COIN GET OUR OF LOBBY PLEASE.

12. Describe the relationship between Christian and Colt in the canon. Would you change it? Why? I don't think they've ever met in canon. In my own personal fanon, once Christian found out Colt time traveled with Jericho in an attempt to whoo him, trouble would be on like Donkey Kong.

13. In your list, who do you think is the perfect match for Carlito and why? None. His love is London.

14. Christian has a dream where Kane tells him/her to save M. Hardy, who is facing certain doom. What would 2 do? Again, in my own personal fanon, Christian would let the motherfucker rot. Yes, in the Soap Opera in My Head, M. Hardy is pussbag heel.

15. Punk and Jericho are about to get married, until Carlito crashes their wedding and abducts Punk against his/her will. Jericho follows them, but must forge an uneasy alliance with his/her archrival, M. Hardy. They must then hijack some form of transportation (The time machine!) from Colt in order to get to Carlito's lair (probably Shane-gri_La), where they must fight against Carlito's evil zombified minions. What will happen next? John Cena shows up, bitching about his stabbed up kidney. After calling everyone fags, he realizes the power of Steph's crappy booking can't save him here, and the Bon-bon's undead take him down in the Ultimate squash match.

16. Colt receives a gift from Punk. Does s/he open it or not? If so, what is inside? Tomorrow's newpaper! ZOMG PUNK HAS A TIME MACHINE TOO.

17. Khos is walking home when s/he sees a cute fluffy creature, which promptly begins rubbing itself against his/her legs. Will s/he kick it away, or take it home? JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!

18. Colt is dared by Khos to strip while pole-dancing in front of Jimmy. Write a short dialogue about this.
Barry Manilow: Her name was Lola...
Colt: I am a showgirl! *poledances while stripped down to tighty-whities which are saggy, and possibly on day two*
Jimmy: Worst birthday ever.

19. What smiley/emoticon would best describe Tomko? -__-

20. If you had the chance to rewrite M. Hardy's life, how would you change it? His mom not dying of brain cancer, I suppose. Also, selfishly, less humping of Ashley.