(no subject)

[opera142]

So despite my resolution to go easier on myself about my writing, I'm not.

I'm frustrated and down and confused. It seems like improving is always a one-step-forward, two-steps-back journey for me. Like as much as the Grand Suck of The King is embarrasing me, I'm also saddened that I don't write multi-layered, mucho-plotted stuff anymore. I gained some competency, but lost a lot of gusto.

I miss having big ideas and bull-in-the-china shop writing sessions. I'm frustrated that whenever I focus on one thing, every other element of my writing goes downhill.

I'm tired of being on the cusp. Like I can see greatness, but it's just as likely I'll topple into rotten. I'm disappointed by all the time I've swandived into rotten, and I'm disappointed that I get disappointed when I should just shrug it off and say something stupid and "uplifting" like "Well, now I know how NOT to write that. Har. Har. Har."

I'm frustrated that when ever I try to journal about this, nothing concrete comes of it. If I can't even figure out how to express my issues, how can I solve them? Grrr. I'm frustrated that I want to talk craft beyond anyone's tolerance for the subject. I'm frustrated that I sometimes want to talk about writing more than I want sit down, shut up, and write. I'm frustrated that I let myself get frustrated.

Comments

[rachel-martin64.livejournal.com]

Hey bud, I have a vast tolerance for talking about this stuff. Email me anytime. (I can't figure out AIM.)

You ever think of joining a writing group? I belonged to one for a while, dropped out for good when a reporter from the local paper joined it.

yeah, I too know the feeling of reading some gorgeously written story and feeling sad I can never write anything equally good. It's hard to just be satisfied with what you are able to do.

[opera142.livejournal.com]

I belong to one in r/l. I write slowly, so I do much more critiquing than receiving. It's a little more middle-America than I would like, but at the same time I think a group of "edgy" writers would annoy me too-- your vampire author story comes to mind.

And thanks for the offer.