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Aug. 6th, 2011 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
opera142Choose five lines of description/non-dialogue and five lines/exchanges of dialogue from your stories that you consider to be favorites, or that are especially meaningful/important to you. Don't agonize over this: go with your first instincts!
Description/non dialogue:
1. I am a god among useless fucks. (Amends) .
I always choose this line. I love it. On the most basic level, it’s a good hook. It’s the kind of sentence that intrigues me, makes me want to know more, gives me an instant impression of the character. Going a bit deeper, I like the for-the-character unintentional ambiguity. He’s saying he’s a god; everyone is useless fucks. But the sentence could be taken as his useless fuckery is above and beyond the typical level exhibited by useless fucks. And the rest of the story, depending on the readers morality and how they choose to read the events in Amends, either interpretation of the sentence could works. /navel gazing.
Meta-ly, this line and Amends as a whole represents a giant step forward for me in writing. It wasn’t exactly a “found my voice” type thing. I wish! It was closer to finding a path meaningful to me. Amends and that opener are the kind of writing I want to do: caustic, intriguing, unique.
Lastly, that sentence represented a breaking of rules. I break rules unintentionally all the time. Grammar is the minefield in which I shall ever wander. But, once I know a rule, I generally don’t break it unless I have a damn good reason. With that opener, I broke three-- that I know of. The to-be verb (in an opener, yet), a swear word, and a swear word in an opener.
And I’m proud of it. The to-be isn’t lazy, it’s purposeful ownership. It’s declarative to the Nth degree. It says something, and it means it. The swearing isn’t lazy. It used with casual contempt. Again, it means exactly what it says. I broke the rules on my terms, which was a tremendous boost to my writing confidence.
I’m appalling proud of that whole story, actually. It’s the epitome of how I want to write: caustic, unique, bold.
2. Okay, so it's probably un-American to blame Mount Rushmore for a slow day at the glory hole. ( Glory Hole)
Another opener. It made me laugh.
3. Then again, Carlito was an Island boy. Saltwater was his natural scent. The bare and secret him, sun-warmed and unsullied. Fresh as coconut milk. Sweet as flan. (written for Caribbean but edited out.)
4. Then, in a dusty corner of the produce section, a rack of spices beckoned to him-- all of them exorbitantly expensive and enchanting as pixie dust. (Stomached All My Fears)
Oh Factory Town AU. I wanted so badly for this to become a lively, vivid world.
5. I try to tell myself the mix of our natures would not bubble. A life partnership with him would only result in a disorderly mail organizer and shambles of our checking account. More than his failings, I see my own. I put too much hope in his sureness quelling my fears. I’ve made an icon out of his quietness. Surely, he must yell and carry on. Maybe, he prefers to spend Saturday afternoon cheering a sports team while surrounded by a gaggle of old friends who are highly skilled in the many ways of spilling a dark beverage onto white carpeting. Or the early hours of his days are spent howling in his basement while practicing his gimmick or he sets the volume of his car stereo on 6. (Midnight kisses)
Dialogue. I’m going to be a self-aggrandizing ass about this. The most powerful lines of my dialogue tend to be comebacks, not necessarily of the oooh burn type, closer to, I guess, re-routing of conversation to suite a characters needs. Thus, my best lines need the context in which they were said. So I’m posting runs of dialogue. Like I said, self-aggrandizing ass.
1. (The king’s)hands rested upon his swollen stomach. Bloated fingertips greasily massaged wide rings, twisting at the stuck gold.
" I must apologize, we have no celebration prepared to welcome you. I heard reports, you were coming through these lands, but I did not expect you until next spring."
I shifted my weight to one foot to give rest to my back. "You need more reliable spies."
"A little late in the year for marauding. Your fields at home must be ready for harvest."
"I don't farm."
"Never developed a taste for it myself. Dreary dirty work. I suppose it's why God, in his wisdom, put peasants on this earth." (The Prince -chapter 4)
My first choice was the entirety of Chapter 1 from The Prince. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was going to be a self-aggrandizing ass.
2. "That was a come-on," Taker said, getting up, getting near. "Yeah, old man. I'm offering you a piece." (Crows)
I wanted gruff, non-fluffy dialogue for Crows, and while it’s not the sexiest line ever, it felt like something the Taker of that story would say.
3. “We'll not feast on guilt because that monster came to dinner uninvited." (With the Light)
4. Luckily, I caught this chronicle on the wind down. Bradshaw hits his knees, guffawing at his own story before he finishes telling it. "And then the god damn dog bit the paramedic!" (Charity Work).
Pandemonium, right.
5. "That fluffy blonde hair of his. So Chris Atkins circa The Blue Lagoon. You just wanna spread him out on some hot tropical rock and fuck him `til the rescue ship comes." (Wow & Flutter)
Description/non dialogue:
1. I am a god among useless fucks. (Amends) .
I always choose this line. I love it. On the most basic level, it’s a good hook. It’s the kind of sentence that intrigues me, makes me want to know more, gives me an instant impression of the character. Going a bit deeper, I like the for-the-character unintentional ambiguity. He’s saying he’s a god; everyone is useless fucks. But the sentence could be taken as his useless fuckery is above and beyond the typical level exhibited by useless fucks. And the rest of the story, depending on the readers morality and how they choose to read the events in Amends, either interpretation of the sentence could works. /navel gazing.
Meta-ly, this line and Amends as a whole represents a giant step forward for me in writing. It wasn’t exactly a “found my voice” type thing. I wish! It was closer to finding a path meaningful to me. Amends and that opener are the kind of writing I want to do: caustic, intriguing, unique.
Lastly, that sentence represented a breaking of rules. I break rules unintentionally all the time. Grammar is the minefield in which I shall ever wander. But, once I know a rule, I generally don’t break it unless I have a damn good reason. With that opener, I broke three-- that I know of. The to-be verb (in an opener, yet), a swear word, and a swear word in an opener.
And I’m proud of it. The to-be isn’t lazy, it’s purposeful ownership. It’s declarative to the Nth degree. It says something, and it means it. The swearing isn’t lazy. It used with casual contempt. Again, it means exactly what it says. I broke the rules on my terms, which was a tremendous boost to my writing confidence.
I’m appalling proud of that whole story, actually. It’s the epitome of how I want to write: caustic, unique, bold.
2. Okay, so it's probably un-American to blame Mount Rushmore for a slow day at the glory hole. ( Glory Hole)
Another opener. It made me laugh.
3. Then again, Carlito was an Island boy. Saltwater was his natural scent. The bare and secret him, sun-warmed and unsullied. Fresh as coconut milk. Sweet as flan. (written for Caribbean but edited out.)
4. Then, in a dusty corner of the produce section, a rack of spices beckoned to him-- all of them exorbitantly expensive and enchanting as pixie dust. (Stomached All My Fears)
Oh Factory Town AU. I wanted so badly for this to become a lively, vivid world.
5. I try to tell myself the mix of our natures would not bubble. A life partnership with him would only result in a disorderly mail organizer and shambles of our checking account. More than his failings, I see my own. I put too much hope in his sureness quelling my fears. I’ve made an icon out of his quietness. Surely, he must yell and carry on. Maybe, he prefers to spend Saturday afternoon cheering a sports team while surrounded by a gaggle of old friends who are highly skilled in the many ways of spilling a dark beverage onto white carpeting. Or the early hours of his days are spent howling in his basement while practicing his gimmick or he sets the volume of his car stereo on 6. (Midnight kisses)
Dialogue. I’m going to be a self-aggrandizing ass about this. The most powerful lines of my dialogue tend to be comebacks, not necessarily of the oooh burn type, closer to, I guess, re-routing of conversation to suite a characters needs. Thus, my best lines need the context in which they were said. So I’m posting runs of dialogue. Like I said, self-aggrandizing ass.
1. (The king’s)hands rested upon his swollen stomach. Bloated fingertips greasily massaged wide rings, twisting at the stuck gold.
" I must apologize, we have no celebration prepared to welcome you. I heard reports, you were coming through these lands, but I did not expect you until next spring."
I shifted my weight to one foot to give rest to my back. "You need more reliable spies."
"A little late in the year for marauding. Your fields at home must be ready for harvest."
"I don't farm."
"Never developed a taste for it myself. Dreary dirty work. I suppose it's why God, in his wisdom, put peasants on this earth." (The Prince -chapter 4)
My first choice was the entirety of Chapter 1 from The Prince. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was going to be a self-aggrandizing ass.
2. "That was a come-on," Taker said, getting up, getting near. "Yeah, old man. I'm offering you a piece." (Crows)
I wanted gruff, non-fluffy dialogue for Crows, and while it’s not the sexiest line ever, it felt like something the Taker of that story would say.
3. “We'll not feast on guilt because that monster came to dinner uninvited." (With the Light)
4. Luckily, I caught this chronicle on the wind down. Bradshaw hits his knees, guffawing at his own story before he finishes telling it. "And then the god damn dog bit the paramedic!" (Charity Work).
Pandemonium, right.
5. "That fluffy blonde hair of his. So Chris Atkins circa The Blue Lagoon. You just wanna spread him out on some hot tropical rock and fuck him `til the rescue ship comes." (Wow & Flutter)
