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Extreme Championship Wigglepants
Oh, Master Regal is in a snit. Losing rather upsets his digestion, and it's impossible to get a decent tummy-settling cuppa because mean fangirls wish to see him suffering and Chris-less.
Steph isn't mean! All the time, anyway. Tonight she is benevolent and glorious and totally into appeasing my whims. Entitled William, glowering Koslov, just-awoken Ezekial (Moe has dubbed them The It's A Small World stable. Moe is on probation for rooning), all v. angry at Christian-- Christian the snarky, clever, lithe, out-numbered face. All that's needed is a tea tray and bondage paraphanila. Their battles shall be divine.
Tiffany ships it too! She's a real, professional GM and she decrees that William and Christian shall
Yes, Tiff. YAY.
But before that, because anticipation is so sweet, we get Sheamus "The Dangerous Irish Curse" O'Sanssurname wrestling Goldust. Creepy pallor vs. creepy pallor.
Backstage, Shelton Benjamin sang at the Bellas. They didn't talk in unison, so I didn't have to fastforward. Zach Ryder showed up in Prada sunglasses, and he and Shelton argued about it.
Paul Burchill hates superheroes and reporters. Hurricane hates razors. They wrestle, and it's awesome.
Shelton and Zach tag against Tatsu and TylerSaurus Recks. Tyler's gimmick is 'What if Chuck Palumbo were a surfer?' Tatsu's is 'How hard can a dude unironically rock a mullet'?
Fun, flippy-as-all-get-out match. Double somersaults, kicks with attitude. Mid-match, Moe decides Shelton's endearingness comes from him symbolizing everyone who's even been trapped on the corporate ladder, good enough but getting nowhere because some manager's kid gets the push instead. Also, he's awesome. Tats and Tye win via kick to Zach's ear.
Post-match, Shelton Benjamin got 99 problems but Zach Ryder ain't one of 'em.
William and bullies vs. Christian time! My pants, they do wiggle. Throughout the early part of the match, William insists on pinning Christian's face with his crotch. Shine on you crazy villain. Yay!wrestling too. An armbar into somersault off the ring apron. Heaving chests and sweat-streaked backs, those boys worked. Christian ate the pin, as out-numbered yet noble faces should do early in the feud. Ahhhh. Yummy.
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