opera142

Here I yammered on and on about the thong-thin line that separates my kinks and squicks. Ever since I’ve been noticing more and more correlation, not just between kinks and squinks, but between kink! And boring! too.

Obviously, the easy answer in all of this is gradation. But my joy of over-analysis has never been hampered by easily available solutions or by the fact that I sorta-kinda answered this in the first paragraph of my original porn pondering—it’s the intensity of the situation (i.e. Eli winning the Super bowl in front of his older brother who had won the Super bowl last year, and thus their Eskimo kisses had a mega-charge that normal bouts of Eskimo kissing lacks).

I’ll get back to intensity of the situation later because that’s where this is building. First, though, I want to stack up a big pile of boring detail cordwood. Mainly, some examples of what makes boring! for me, and what makes hot! and why near identical things fall into each category. I’m hugely in love with Merc’s “tiny set of subjective clues” explanation, and I’m going shamelessly riff off it.

Reciprocity is a big thing for me. An utter lack of it in a non-con situation gets me revved. “Just a hole” is one my top I-know-it’s-a-total-cliché-but-I-like-reading-that-line-anyway bits of porno dialogue. I totally, TOTALLY despise the lack of sexual reciprocity in vanilla situations, and grump-causingly, in fan fiction, I see that lack way more often in vanilla than I do in rough situations. That lack of vanilla reciprocity (less abstractly, the top tends to do all the work in the bed, the bottom lays there and gets his mind and jollies blown without doing much for the top besides letting the top’s dick in) was explained to me as (not an exact quote here)wouldn’t you love to be pampered and beloved?. Well, yes. But I’m not a character in that story. I’m reading about other people’s lives, and I want the characters who I treasure not to be selfish dicks in vanilla situations. Vanilla-wise, I want give-n-take between two people, not a giver and a taker.

Affection is another abstract that is too abundant in rough scenarios and too lacking in vanilla. Nothing bores me quicker in a non-con scenario than a mother hen top who constantly coddling and fussing over the tied-up bottom (well, the phrase he smiled evilly and especially he smiled Evilly—capital Evil is v. serious bidness- annoys me more, but we’re talking situation here). I mean I’m fine with safety and concern, but that stuff gets way overdone. And way underdone in vanilla. When’s the last time you read two characters show affection? Not grand romantic love, not overwhelming lust, just simple affection? You know, a certain look or an inside joke or an arm around the waist. A touch that starts and ends with itself.

The last, because I like things listed in threes, is cross-dressing. Drag queens, twinks, sissymaids, etc. don’t do much for me, but wow! random costumes do. I’m sure part of that comes from certain articles of clothing being so fetishized in North American society. Corsets, for example. For me, the major turn-on comes from role-playing. Again, situation. Twinks are just twinks, they’d be wearing what they’re wearing no matter what, but a character wearing certain clothing because of role-playing or a lack of choice is Opera Kink Ground Zero.

I hope through my not-very-well explained kink/not a kink examples, I’ve laid good ground work to talk about the situation idea. I’ve sort of over simplified the idea by using vanilla and rough divisions--- we all know there are millions situations in between.
Situation’s influence is obvious in kink vs. squick. I like non-con; I’m horrified by rape. I like characters getting roughed up; gore disgusts me. To go ultra meta, there are dozens of situation I adore fictionally that would have me lighting pitchforks and bringing the mob justice in real life. Situation affects kink vs. boredom too.

As I touched on in the reciprocity paragraph, one character doing everything is repugnant in vanilla scenarios and yesomghot in rough ones. It’s the situation, and how much honesty the characters exhibit in them. Not that I’m granting nobility to villains, but if Character A tells B “you’re just a hole to me”. He’s being honest, at least. He’s not promising anything he isn’t going deliver. Again, not an action that deserves total forgiveness, but it’s been put out there for me to judge on. I can go along on the non-con ride or I can hit the back button. The lack of reciprocity is part of the story, and I get to decide if I want to participate in one character’s deprivation. When the lack of reciprocity appears in vanilla, there’s one character honestly, joyfully, freely giving, and the other just selfishly taking. I can’t find squee in that because the premise of the story promised me love, and so far has delivered laziness and greed and self-centeredness. I see one character giving the good lovin’, and one doing nothing in return. It destroys my belief that character B is worthy of A’s love. In short, I’m thinking, no wonder you’ve been without love your whole life Character B. You’re self-involved and uncaring about anyone but yourself. Die in a lonely ditch.

Maybe not die. Just take a few hits on the chin for being selfish. Or better yet, give back some of that good, good lovin’ you’re getting from A. Kiss instead of being kissed, touch him while he touches you, seize the moment and make it good for the both of you. Instead of being a scared bottom, be Scarlett O’Hara, clawing a handful of sheet as she did Tara’s clay, and declare “I’m never going to be lonely again!”

Intensity of the situation is going to trump even the most lackluster of sex acts. A lack of intensity is going to blunt “edgy” stuff. It turns kinks into boredom. Fanfic shouldn't be boring ever. Seriously, some intensity is already there. Capitalize on it.