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Wrestling! Roadtrip!
Hickblasted on out to South Duh this weekend. My college roommate's wife's brother works for a company that each year hires Steel Domain to put on a show. Free beer for everyone 21+, free t-shirts for some, and wrestling for all.
Small card, only six matches, but when there's free beer and the main event is CHRISTIAN CAGE VS. AJ STYLES, there is no reason to complain ever.
The opening bout was some generic white guy vs. the dastardly El Heuvos. El Heuvos' entrance music sounded like a Taco Johns commerical. I had to cheer.
2nd match. Jay Lethal Vs. James Storm. Outstanding match, not just for the wrestling but for what they put into it. Storm got in a scream match with an 8 year old, and you could tell it was the best 3 minutes of that kids' life. Jay held Storm and let some other kids bop him. After the match, Jay took one of the main boppers into the ring and held his arm up like he'd been instrumental in his win, and helped the kid stand tall on the turnbuckle. Just floored me, you know. It's not just that they wrestled a balls-out bumpy, flippy match. It's that they'd put so much effort into making sure our crowd of 827 people got an amazing match.
3rd match. The Bates Brother (alledgedly from South Dakota) teamed with their cousin, Norman (Smiley in hickwear) Vs. Adrian Lynch, Mitch Paradise and Rollie Von Heel (not his announced name but that's what it sounded like). How a comedy match is supposed to be. Funny, full of pratfalls and Norman's usual grinding and spanking, but still good action and full of wrestling drama. At the beginning of the match, the smark in me was like: no way Norman's jobbing in this. But, they did some excellent face in peril with the smaller, prettier Bates brother (gee, what kind of name would Vince Russo or Vince McMahon think up for those poor boys). And, the face in peril was so good, and the heels heeled so well, right until the last second, I thought the heels were going to get the win.
Intermission which was filled by free beer and cheer/boo voting on cheesy songs played from a Burt Sugarman's Saturday Night Special. Dr Hook may be the ugliest band in history. They had a dude with an eyepatch.
4th match. Lenny Lane vs. Dakota Darsow.
This was Dakota's first match, and boy is he a cutie pie. A bunch of his friends were seated with us, and they screamed like hell for him.
5th Match. Abyss vs. Rhyno. Ended in double DQ when they brawled through the arena. Rhyno dumped beer on Abyss, tossed trash cans, the battled up on the lofts.
ME: AJ vs. Christian. Before the show started, an AJ interview played on the not-a-Titantron. AJ doesn't understand South Dakota and is outraged at $3.26 gasoline. Therefore he was heel. Christian did a live interview that was fun but not his usual caliber. The wrestled the bejebus out of each other. Because the arena is tiny (it's the company's all staff meeting room) there is a support beam right next to the ring. Instead of flinging Christian in to the corner/turnbuckle, AJ drove him into the beam. Lots o' flippy, lots of fun crowd taunts. Whenever AJ was boo'd, he come back with a lame-o "Oh, boo yourself!" So funny, so awesome.
In non-wrestling portions of the roadtrip: Hearty breakfasts made from brand new eggs! My friends keep chickens and goats and they are happy to have others help them eat eggs. I was within 33 miles of DeSmet S.D. Laura Ingalls Wilder ground zero, but alas there was no time to visit (waaaa!) as free beer and awesome wrestling awaited. Also there is tax on food and clothing in South Dakota. WTF. It was a terrible shock to the drunken myself as I finished my drunken meandering through an all-night Wal-Mart.
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Funny, full of pratfalls and Norman's usual grinding and spanking.
I am unfamiliar with this "Norman." How can this be??