opera142: (towel)
Dean's fashion choices are still lamentable. However, Daddyissues!Punk gives me ALL THE WIGGLEPANTS.

C'mon now

Aug. 17th, 2013 11:59 am
opera142: (towel)
Bad hair.
Black t-shirt.
No vest.
Belted above the navel, dad-jeans.
opera142: (this shit is bananas)
opera142: (this shit is bananas)
WTF Punk? What's with this new ugly Nexus? Diet Batista, Michael McGullifugly. Geez, Punk, Geez. Is it an insecurity thing? Do you have to be the prettiest? I don't get this.

David Otunga, when I plug my ears against the hum of his douchy vibe, is pretty enough. Husky Harris scratches some latent white trash itch that no amount of Creme de la Mer can soothe. But neither inspire long term wigglepants.

Here is what you must do, Punk: Gather J. Gabriel and J. Morrison. Doff clothing. Don towels. Shave those beards. Shower. Play lots of grab ass. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. Apply body oil, daisy chain style post-shower. Wear the tiniest, angriest trunks ever. Smirk as Young Randall glares with burning jealousy.

It's the only way to save the new Nexus.
opera142: (Default)
My Wrestlemania plans crapped out, so being too cheap to shell out the 55 bucks for myself, I missed it. :(

Anyway. Raw: stuff that happened the next day )


Feb. 27th, 2010 10:17 am
opera142: (bleach)
WWE cut Shane Helms, Paul Burchill and Maria. -____-

Maria, I sort of went hot-n-cold on, though she forever endeared herself to me by lifting that soldier above her head. Helms, I've heard, asked for his release so he could go to TNA and tag with Shannon ( I don't even know where to start wanking about that. HELMS NO. My pussbag characterization of you was done for petty, silly reasons. Life doesn't imitate art. Quit it. Jeez)

Burchill breaks my heart. Hunky, awesome moves, British accent, wore eyeliner. YUM.

If WWE needed to cut payroll in these difficult economic times of corporations getting massive tax breaks (of which WWE got something like 8 million dollars), then WWE should remember that their roster includes The Guy Who Looks Like Cena Got a Role in SoulManII, Shad Gaspar and Michelle McCool.
opera142: (this shit is bananas)
TNA: AJ's new "Limosine ridin', jet-flying, etc." gimmick is bullshit.

Now granted, I put a huge premium on his country-dumb, Christian boy persona, and I can see where bookers would think "that's not gonna get over", or even "It could get over, but it means more work than I want to do.". But their lazness and short-sightedness is not my problem. I'm all for character evolution. Make it natural, though! 180s totally suck, especially when they're an obvious one 180s so a vet can be shoehorned into a storyline.

The Orlando Screwjob was lame. More than lame. Damaging. You can't fricking sell your promotion as a new, vital thing is you're re-hashing 12-year old drama from a stodgy old company. Even WWE couldn't make the Screwjob drama ignite, and they had all the key players.

I have decided that anytime Impact airs, and there is no ODB, Dixie Carter owes me a dollar. Originally, I had decided she would also owe me a dollar anytime the Nasty Boys were on TV, but then I realized no amount of money can soothe the pain of watching those clowns stumble around the ring.

Smackdown: Matt is less bloated!

Maybe it's because he's teaming with Khali, so he just looks thinner. At this point, I'm taking any reason. He also got a win. Yay.

The graphics they've been using are pretty sweet. Sort of a combination of Borderlands and old-timey. Probably says something about the show, if my first praise is for the graphics. The show wasn't terrible-- a very flippy-fun match between Morrison & R.Truth vs Drew and Jericho rocked in the first hour-- but it wasn't great either. Blah-blah-blah got too much screen time. Undertaker's promos get more old-man-crazy each week. Punk shaving peoples' heads has lost its charm (though, that dude can make kissing anyone looking dead sexy).

Batista's head grows a new wrinkle each week. I swear, he's really a shriveled old demon who sucks the lifeforce out of nubile young divas in order to hold his 'roid-poisoned meatsuit together for one more night. I like pretending Vickie G. is a nature witch secretly planning his unnaturally orange demise.
opera142: (this shit is bananas)
Shawn Michaels is wearing a DX dickie.

Teddy is wearing a milk moustache.


Oct. 16th, 2009 03:33 pm
opera142: (this shit is bananas)
STAMFORD, CT – Shane McMahon, Executive Vice President of Global Media, announced today he has tendered his resignation effective January 1, 2010.

This was prompted by...

a)yesterday, while stepping out of the shower he thought: hey, wait a second. I'm super rich. I'm working why?

b)Jesus, who re-hired Chris Masters?

c)his pact with Todd Grisham to run away to a cottage on Maine's seacoast. They'll run a small antique/wine shop in a touristy little town, and on off-season weekends they'll go for long bike rides while wearing brightly colored windbreakers. They'll be so happy, co-chairing the town's summer festival; Todd's book club will the be literary highlight of the area (and responsible for double the sales of Glimmer Train, at the nearest B&N); Shane's special blend mulling spices will revive a local orchard (eat local!). Happy, until a secret from Todd's past threatens to ruin everything they've built...
opera142: (this shit is bananas)
It's Jericho and Regal. Preferably with tea involved. So what's this Show/Jericho nonsense? And sending your husband out to do your dirty work is just cowardly. Boo hiss.

Also, just so you know, if ever a match needed a Jericho gets a bare-assed spanking finish, that was it.
opera142: (this shit is bananas)
The squirrels looted my garden. My stalks and I have been left bereft. Peppers, tumbling toms, romas, and one dear, squat heirloom tomato all heisted. I found one roma, half-eaten, left on the driveway.
opera142: (bleach)
Spanky's out on the pavement, yet Ricky Ortiz has a job.
opera142: (Default)
As of April 15th, my two favorite music channels, Retro-Active and Americana are gone. Replaced with yet another fucking 80's channel and some country-hits--of-the-90s bullshit.

Why is all my media betraying me? WHY


opera142: (Default)

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