opera142: (crayons)
I was so close to escaping wrestling, so close. I have a backlog of dirt sheets, my TiVo is log-jammed with unwatched wrestling, wrestlers' Twitters? What are those?

Then.

Then some Indy promoter booked M. Hardy vs. Kevin "I cuddle with whom I later destroy" Steen. THE FIRST WRESTLING MATCH in months and months THAT I AM PASSIONATELY INTERESTED IN IS UNAVAILABLE TO ME. I DEMAND REDRESS.
opera142: (Default)
Fucking A.

I have tickets to Bragging Rights. Christian's out. Jericho's out. M. Hardy's been endeavored. I feel so totally fucking ripped off.
opera142: (bleach)
I gutted the ending of a story I'm working on. Entrails and subjectless phrases everywhere! It's rejecting all the transplant endings I'm trying to sew in. Which means, those endings aren't right, which means I have to wait until my brain comes up with the real ending, which means I'll be panicky and down on myself until I do.

I've lost the voice of this fic too. Pretty sure that is contributing to the stymie. I had a casual, snarky, funny without being jokeman vibe, and everything I write now sounds flat, and the snark goes CLUNK. The conventional writing advice to "wait as long as possible before editing" didn't help so much this time.
opera142: (bleach)
Spanky's out on the pavement, yet Ricky Ortiz has a job.
opera142: (Default)
Raw. Because Insane Clown Posse was already booked at the Washburn County Fair.
opera142: (bleach)
So there's a six-man match being trotted out on Raw. Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, and Great Khali for the face side. It's wigglepants x1248538502845 as I await Jericho, Punk and the Precious AKA TEAM OMG MY PANTIES.

But no. No. Goodness is not in Steph's plans tonight. BETRAYAL A THOUSANDFOLD will reign. There is no TEAM OMG MY PANTIES. Only Jericho with Edge and Dolph has-a-job;Colt-doesn't Ziggler.

And while JR's huge bucket of chicken eventually draws out Punk, the Precious is nowhere to be found.

Ebb

May. 7th, 2009 05:02 pm
opera142: (The Precious)
M. Hardy out-assholed himself in his latest "keyboarding". Each sentence found new ways to disappoint me. He calls himself a Martyr.

I guess because he sacrifices himself? Too many wrestlers (matt included)buy into this idea too much, and I'm becoming disillisioned by it. We (wrestling fans) buy into this myth because wrestlers are our heroes and because the spirit of the idea is true, and anyone with an ounce of empathy is going to feel a twinge or more when thinking of how much a wrestler's body gets trashed and how they're never home.

But we ignore that it's something they've chosen and the majority of them receive more than enough compensation (and I'm not speaking solely of money here. Lots of things can fulfill an ego). And I'm tired of the angsty specialness they attach to it. How many poor suckers are injured in crappy warehouse accidents? How many people working a disgusting 6.15 an hour clerk job at a convenience store get shot in robberies? I'm not trying to belittle the pain wrestlers endure, and I'm not trying to build a debate over who's agony is teh_worstevar. My point is wrestlers aren't the only ones with painful jobs, and they get far more compensation (financial and otherwise) than Average Joe.

Maybe it's because I'm one of the "keyboarders" being mocked, but I resent wrestler's attitude toward internet fandom. I get where they're coming from; I agree most smarks/pundits are idiots, assholes or both. I am frustrated by how righteous wrestlers feel in attacking them. Other athletes get their performances critiqued on news shows, in newspapers, in magazines. ESPN and Sports Illustrated may not be high art, but they are respected in their genres. The shit that gets said about other athletes is 1254774x worse, and it's accepted much more often as a valid assessment (rather an opinion).

And, lamely (really, really, lamely) I think I could have laughed off/ignored most of this, if in the rest of the post, Matt hadn't come off as a)petty as fuck, b)whiney, c)petty as fuck, d) spoiled brat, e) petty as fuck, f)epic flounc-y, g)petty as fuck, h)crazy, the for real kind, i) petty as fuck.

He gets laid a lot, but still uses the word "manhood" earnestly. Whether he means his dick or his machismo Idk;dc. Bragging about pussy and talking shit about people from high school. On the Internet. Grow up, Matt. Geez.

also what is this "off the leash" nonsense? You book yourself worse than Steph does. And if anyone wants to write cruel fic about M. Hardy and his Superiors, go right ahead. My fangirling needs the aid. meepies
opera142: (bleach)
My rage will not be lj-cutted!

First of all, dammit, M. Hardy's diet has gone the way of the dodo. His girth, it rivals Big Show's. Conjoined triplets sharing a pelvis wear a smaller waisted pants. And so pale and awfully coifed. WHY HOW WHY.

Then. Then! THEN. THEN! He got drafted to Raw while Taker stays of SD. While Jericho and Punk and Kane go to SD, while I SEETHE.

Steph, that Prada handbag, Trips bought you for your anniverisary? It's a fake, okay. He bought it on a street corner in Cleveland. While he was buying it, he said to Batista (who was buying one for Twig) "Maybe a big purse will distract from her huuuuge feet." And Batista laughed.

Matt VS. Taker on Superstars is TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.

Why do the faces have the advantage in the handicap match? Why does Vickie get to boss around Shane and Trips? Why can't someone supervise Matt's visits to catering? Why does Trips care whether or not he wins-- home invasions and backstage ass-kickings have worked for him in the past.

What can be gained by splitting Miz and Morrison? WHAT? Seriously, what?
opera142: (Default)
As of April 15th, my two favorite music channels, Retro-Active and Americana are gone. Replaced with yet another fucking 80's channel and some country-hits--of-the-90s bullshit.

Why is all my media betraying me? WHY
opera142: (Default)
List 5 storylines that were never really resolved to your satisfaction.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.hahahahahhahahahahahahaha

Okay, I'll just stick to recent stuff.

5. Just about everything on TNA right now. MEM/Frontline should be the stuff of my wildest plotty dreams. I adore revolts against the establishment, I adore wrestling stables, I adore over-riding plots affecting the whole show and every character. I want to love this storyline, and I can't because it sucks. There is zero division by right/wrong between the characters--in fact, the faces are generally the ones stealing, wielding knives, and bragging. MEM gets way too much "pro-mo" time, and not enough sekrit meeting time. Seriously, none of them care that Joe's been putting a knife to Steiner's throat? Steiner hasn't brought it up? I hate lethal weapons in wrestling anyway. It can be used, so there's no pay-off. Also, Don West grosses me out. There, I said it.

4. Hardy vs. Hardy. This round. Admittedly, I've never like any of their fueds. It always involves random Matt heelturn. I like him as a face, ok. Much like Samoa Joe's knife, I don't want Jack, the dead dog, brought into this. I can't get behind the notion that Jeff once having pinned Matt, will feel better about his dog, house, and accidents.

Lamely, I think I would be wigglepants if the roles were reversed (and there wasn't any dead pets). TNA is taking a favorite story-type and bungling it. Hardy vs. Hardy is taking a favorite story-type and doing the exact opposite of what I want. Jerks.


3. Randy/Triple H/Steph. This was going along well enough. Until last week. Randy had to come out and give some dumb speech about dropping the charges on Hunter "because [he] wants to take care of him [himself]". How fucking dumb. Seriously. First of all, cowardly heels would want their opponents in jail, am i rite!?!?!? Second, why not have surprize!Hunter show up, with sledgehammer, and commence to beating, and when Randy, half-beaten, gaspes "How did you get here?", Hunter snarls, "I made bail." GET IT BECAUSE HIS WIFE'S DADDY HAS A LOT OF MONEY.

One word, one small word wrestling audiences are v. familar with, and your plot doesn't lose steam, your faces look strong, your heel gets outwitted.

2. John Cena spilling about Vickie and Show's affair. Like TNA, this storyline has a super-fucked up notion of right/wrong. Cena has been 100% pure asshole through the whole thing. He got his match, why did he have to be a chatty Cathy and spill Vickie's business. And that explanation about your "friends" discovering the security footage? Creepy.

1. The Beautiful People. I LOVED THEM. They were mean, they were snarky (I only like to throw up when I'm trying to get below 100 pounds), they were perfect. Then the Sarah Palin thing happened, and kept happening. Weeks and weeks of dumbdumbdumb happening. I can't watch it anymore.
opera142: (bleach)
Mr. McMahon/The Geico Money Creature. Really? Really Anonymous Kink meme? Really?

Am I missing the whole goddamn anonymous point by getting supremely irritated and posting about it? Am I violating the safe-placeness of the whole idea--- is there any difference between outrage at this and outrage at golden showers and/or outrage at one of my precious kinks?

I'm also wankily disappointed that 75% of the comments aren't stories or requests, just "Zomg, its so obvious who U R, lol." The mod has had to make additional posts, explaining the esoteric concepts of "anonymous" and "kink", and reminding one and nearly all that "anonymous" and "kink" are necessary components of a kink meme.

Geez, fandom, geez.
opera142: (this shit is bananas)
We had a lovely run of 20-degree days, and I was like "Winter coat, I cast thee off! To Hell with ye damnable mittens and socks! Clogs and sneaker and other shoes of impratical natures come forth and rejoice with me for the snows are receding and the world is ours!"

Then lo, winter returned with all its butterscotchy and semi-turgid fury. O' Winter, thy name is Steph.


Raw is Blah )
opera142: (bleach)
So WWE is running with the dog-killa, arsonist angle for M. Hardy. My well of rage is more bottomless than Steph's appetite for Awesome Blossoms.

Semi-turgid Cocks!
opera142: (bleach)
Colt's been cut.

Ricky "cumrag" Ortiz still has a job. The Edgeheads still have a job. Mike Knox, Tiffany, Candace, assorted others who I am too enraged to think of have jobs.

Yet, Colt is gone. WHY.
opera142: (Default)
ECW. WTF. 19 segments with Ricky Ortiz and his cumrag. Ugh. And now he's hooked up with Tiffany, and she likes to rub the "O-rally" towel on her face. I'm making NONE of this up.

Let me complain about Ricky Ortiz some more. His storyline tonight ran COUNTER to to all forms of storytelling logic, jeopardy and non-bullshittery. The set-up, the Miz and Morrison are bragging themselves up. Teddy Long and Ricky Ortiz waddle to the ramp. Long sets up a match between Miz and Morrison, with the winner earning an immediate match against Ortiz. WHAT

WHAT

Let's review all the mistakes in that. The first match is two heel frienemies having to wrestle each other. While there is minor joy in watching two douchebags have to wrestle each other, it is nowhere near the angsty-fun to be had from two faces forced to wrestle each other AM I RITE. Then Ortiz gets to wrestle the worn-out winner. Ortiz, the face, gets to fight a winded, weakened opponent. Neither fair fight nor moral victory. Flipped, the storyline has tons of appeal, the greatly man-pained for having fought his friend face now must wrestle another match, this time against a rested heel. See the extra jeopardy there? See it? Hello?

The only highlight was JR announcing "Ortiz had a big O on Miz!"

19 segments with Ricky Ortiz and his cumrag, a Mark Henry "pro-mo", and NO PRECIOUS.

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