opera142: (whee)
Over on AO3: Fighting Chance by Glitterdune

Dark, but well-written. I stuck with it even though a character "sobbed". Go read.








I really, really hope "Glitterdune" isn't the new name of someone I know
opera142: (towel)
Hey ROH,

While I'm always a fangirl sucker for an Evil Coalition Bent on Destroying a Company, and moreso when their leader is tubby and mean, (and LOL DOMINO... DOMINO GUYS LOL), I feel I must restate Opera Plot Point Number One. I like M. Hardy as a face*.









*yeah, yeah yeah. So not worthy of being graced with face status; still wrestles like his shoes are too small.

Smackdown

Jul. 30th, 2011 04:02 pm
opera142: (crayons)
COO HHH strides mightly down Smackdown's ramp. He's got an ill-fitting suit, a mike, and as much "pro-mo" time as he wants. He's WWE's new COO, and while in normal businesses that means overseering logistics and inventory, in WWE it means "pro-mo-ing". His first order of business: announcing a business partnership with Opera142.

You know it, bitches. Be jealous. Oh, Trips may not be all OTPCHATFICLOL or inclined to slash Cena and Punk, but he's a straight, white male. No opinion matters more, noone's words have more sway, no other friends count, especially chicks.

Christian storms the ring, he heard wind of HHH's no-interuptions policy, but fuck it. With Matt Hardy gone rotund and bitter, he's damn near the Number One Muse. Hear that, Punk. Colt. John Morrison. Number One Muse.

They pretend to talk business for a while, but it's really all just code for: won't this torque off Steph like nobody's business. For a little torqy cherry, HHH announces that his new body servant, John Morrison, will slather his abs with oil and hustle his sweet, sweet ass out here to tumble with Christian.THXHHHILU2BESTIE.

Steph sends out R Truth to delay the tumbling goodness, but all he does his call HHHBFF "Mr. H"

Eventually tumble Christian and John do. Heaving and sweating and flipping and gasping and locking limbs and slithering about. While Booker and Michael Cole argue about clothes. Chistian wins because I said so.

More happened, but HHHBFF and I missed it because we were chilling on a couch, drinking Coke Zero over ice, and watching the newest (unreleased as of now) Hardyz DVD: Remember From Before When They Weren't Gross and Mean and Alcholics. They Were Hot Then.

Smackdown

Aug. 15th, 2009 11:15 am
opera142: (crayons)
Smackdown kicks off with a re-cap of Everything Opera Doesn’t Like About Recent Storylines. An orange and wide Heel!Precious (who, btw, isn’t being hounded by Taker---more on that later, and has come back way too soon. heal your gut, lose 20lbs, and quit drinking like Lindsey Lohan), an ever-noble and doing his own thang Jeff Hardy, heel!Punk sans the blue pants with orange stars. Sadly this re-cap doesn’t lead to a lesson (perhaps delivered by Taker in Prussian drag) for the Precious in the subtle yet delicious differences between Good Orange/Bad Orange.

It does, however, lead to a pantsless Punk yelling, mainly about Jeff. When will my Hardy get a half-naked dude, prone to woodies while sweating, scolding him? Pops Hardy doesn’t count, and I’m sure just as there is in wrestling, Jeff got more of that particular chastisement too.

Teddy Long tries to right the evening. He scolds Punk (b-Precious, surely), puts him in a punishment match (another Wrong Thing: face!John Morrison), and pushes his managerial agenda. Except he’s way too nice about it, and no lurid thrills or pleasing terror can slither from the shadow cast by George Jefferson.

Jeff arrives, bringing with him a Great and Terrible Orange. Wal-Mart really needs to stock other aerosol products so the Hardys can throw those things into bonfires. This spray tan nonsense is yet another Thing Opera Doesn’t Like About Recent Storylines. JR claims Jeff walks gingerly, which causes Moe to yell “The Ginger Enigma!” Which causes me to decide that should I ever become a super hero or a stripper, my name will be Ginger Enigma.

Jeff claims “He’s hurt, but he’s here… IN YOUR FACE.” No one has a retort, so the segment flees to a commercial break.

In the dank crypts beneath the arena, the Phantom of the Card torments Runjin. It is revealed Runjin is Khali’s brother. So it’s TWO wrong brothers starring in the kidnap/torment scene. When I demand breadcrumbs, Steph, what I really mean is artisan ciabatta rubbed with olive oil and garlic. Appease me, and quickly!

Also backstage, but apparently not caring about federal crimes being committed by his employees while on workplace premises, is Teddy Long. Mr. McMahon reminds him he’s on probation and makes him book a handicap match between Jeff and the Hart Dynasty. Fine, Vince. I put Steph on probation!

More Finlay, Mike Knox, and Dolph Ziggler nonsense. Why does Rey have to get all these guys over? Can’t Hunter make a star or two for once? Maria and Melina wonder about that too, until Layla tells them the camera’s on.

Punk and Morrison wrestle. Finally, some swooning at the sublime can happen. Flippy and counter-y and smooth execution and Smackdown should be 1hr45mins of them wrestling each other, and few minutes of M. Hardy doing things that I will complain about.

More Kane and Runjin. Kinda-sorta lurid thrills to go with Punk and Morrison’s sublimeness. If only there weren’t 875412886 logic errors in this.

Melina pinned Layla in a stunning upset. Cryme Tyme lost to Big Show in a stunning defeat. Jericho was cloaked behind JR, at the announcer’s table, lest he incite the crowd to cheering or caring or getting their money’s worth.

Khali comes to Runjin’s rescue. Since Teddy wouldn’t call the police, Khali had to call himself. After a wee bit of bondage/ropeplay, Kane and Khali get into the harder stuff. Then Kane leaves, slamming the door behind him.

Oh look, it’s Jeff Hardy being the noble, injured, beset upon, outnumbered face fighting the good fight. More flippy, and anytime Tyson Kid yells (he sounds like Chris Tucker) I’m entertained. The match goes haywire, Punk then Morrison show up and brawl. The Precious blunders in, on the lam for jacking X-Pac’s bandana. Moe laughs at the Precious’ voluminous mumu, and I sulk so thoroughly it takes me minutes to realize, Matt got a haircut. It’s an awful Gavin Rossdale bob, but it’s a start. He also seems to go face, which I distrust as he made over-the-top, ACK-tingesque gestures with the hand Jeff broke. Smackdown ends as I peer suspiciously at my television screen. Probation for nearly everyone!

SPN

Jan. 22nd, 2009 09:14 pm
opera142: (whee)
-Criss Angel is a douchebag.
-Jensen ain't never been had by the Chief
-finally, the damn seals get talked about.

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